C.O.G. in the Family rev. 5-15-10
drumbot intro then
Pinkerton: Good evening everybody and welcome to the Republic! I am your host, Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton III, founder and leader of the C.O.G.!
Pinkerton: Excellent. Tonight it is my supreme displeasure to introduce to you all my latest creation...
drumbot: Uhhh, Dr. Pinkerton, I have a little emergency here.
Pinkerton: What is it Drumbot?
drumbot: My power level is low.
Pinkerton: Are you sure? We're only just getting started!
a thunderstrike is heard
Formelda: Perhaps I can be of some help!
Pinkerton: Ha! Well, if it isn't Formelda... I know you well enough not to trust you! In fact, watch your backs, gentlemen - she's treacherous!
Formelda: Why brother dearest, would I lie to YOU?
WOULD I LIE TO YOU
Pinkerton: Yes, well I think you WOULD lie to me!
Formelda: Would NOT.
Pinkerton: Would to!
The pair of them go back and forth with this until Rachnid juts in:
Rachnid: Uhhh, Dr. Pinkerton...
Pinkerton & Formelda: YES?
Rachnid: Erm, I mean Milo?
Pinkerton: DON'T call me Milo! What?
Rachnid: Are you forgetting your manners?
Pinkerton: Very well then, colleagues, ladies and gentlemen, members of the worldwide press, allow me to introduce to you my sister Formelda... err, what was the name of your late husband?
Formelda: Dr. Hyde
Pinkerton: Very well, allow me to introduce my dear sister Dr. Formelda Hyde. Formelda, meet Dr. Z on the quad stringed low frequency resonator, and Dr. A Rachnid on the six stringed instrument of destruction. Audience, Formelda. Formelda, audience.
Formelda: You know, Milo we REALLY shouldn't fight. All your precious toys might accidentally get broken! Remember last time?
Pinkerton: Now then, Formelda, I think it would be BEST if you would just take this opportunity to GO, so I can get back to the experiment...
Z: No, no no you really should STAY... in my tent! I have many soft cushions for you to lie upon as you inhale my funky fresh fragrences!
Z: You see? Follow Z to salvation and all your needs will be taken care of personally by me.
Formelda: The only thing I need you to do is back away... if you get any closer, your funk is going to asphyxiate me...
Pinkerton: Dr. Z you idiot, THAT's no way to court a female lady of the opposite sex! Allow me to give you a little lesson...
Dr. Z : Sala, you padasac!!! That's disgusting. She is your sister, man!!!
Pinkerton: Quite right, Dr. Z - she is my sister. And this little demonstration of ours has put me at severe risk of contracting the condition called 'cooties'.
Rachnid: There's no such thing as cooties!
Pinkerton: Oh, look who's the expert in biology now! I suppose you're going to tell me you also don't believe in dancing skeletons either. I'll have to go back to the beginning!
Pinkerton: Now back to the topic at hand... which was...
Formelda: Milo, are you forgetting your reason for coming here in the first place? Tsk tsk
Pinkerton: Quite right... it would seem I was temporarily blinded... by science!
drumbot: Power level critical. Barely enough left for one song...
Pinkerton: I have no desire to cut this lecture short, but unless somebody has a spare fusion battery ...
Formelda: That's why I'm here - to remind you that we need to make these people dance!
Pinkerton: YOU DON'T MEAN?
Formelda: Yes - I'm suggesting we run drumbot off of Discotronic energy!
Z: How is that even possible?!
Pinkerton: Quiet you fool! If they don't dance... then drumbot will DIE!
DANCE OR DIE
drumbot: Power at 15% and climbing...
Pinkerton: Excellent... they're starting to dance! Let's keep it going! Why do we do it? Anybody?
All: Because we're scientists?
Pinkerton: Dr. A Rachnid, give them something to dance about!
drumbot: Power at 30% and climbing...
Pinkerton: Looks like my evil plan is working! Is everybody having fun out there?
EVIL IS FUN
Pinkerton: Well Formelda, I must admit you've been pretty helpful around here tonight. What do you say, people... should I deport my sister back to Antarctica, or keep her around for now?
Formelda: Like you really have a choice?
Pinkerton: Excellent! Well, drumbot, now that you're all recharged, what do you think?
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