Music For Supervillains (Fringe script) 11/11/10 4th revision
Standard drumbot intro
Pinkerton: Greetings my fellow scientists, ladies, gentlemen and members of the worldwide press. Allow me to introduce myself, for soon my name will be a household word. I am Dr. Milo T. Pinkerton III, founder and leader of the Consortium of Genius - that group best known
as the COG!
Pinkerton: Excellent. Now, my fighting minions, welcome to the first stop on our U.S.O. concert tour! It seems that your musical conditioning is ALREADY starting to take effect! Bwahahahaha! So, ladies and gentlemen of the armed forces, I've come here to Jackson barracks to reveal that our sonic signature is impregnated with a hypnotronic waveform which will soon render you all quite susceptible to my influence!
Rachnid: Um... Dr Pinkerton.
Pinkerton: But before I convert you all into my new hypno ARMY the likes of which the world has never seen, let me tell you of my clever plan. You see...
Rachnid: Dr Pinkerton!
Rachnid: The U.S.O. tour was canceled. We're at Fringefest. These aren't soldiers, they're theater goers, see.
Pinkerton: What kind of world-dominating army can I make of these theater-loving fools?
Z: Well they ARE going to repeal "don't ask don't tell".
Pinkerton: Quite so, Dr. Z! Very well, we shall have to make the best of it, then. People! To make soldiers out of YOU, we're going to have to toughen you up. I command you immediately to drink some MILK!
Pinkerton: Yes, MILK!
Computer: Dr. Pinkerton?
Pinkerton: Not now computer, I'm right in the middle of a lecture!
Computer: Sorry Dr. Pinkerton, but you have a transmission coming in
Pinkerton: What? That could only mean...
The transmission comes onscreen - it's Milo I's face.
Grandfather: Milo! Will you keep that infernal rock and roll racket down! You woke me from cryo-sleep, in Antarctica! Unless perhaps, I've succeeded... Is this the year 2110?
Pinkerton: Grandfather, you know good and well what year it is! It's still 2010! Go back to sleep.
Grandfather: How can anyone sleep with you causing all that ruckus!?
Pinkerton: We'll try to keep it down Grandfather. I'm sure everyone would be happier if you stayed in your cryonic slumber. Good night.
Grandfather: But of course this century is not ready for my return.
Pinkerton: Fascinating, always a pleasure talking to you, goodbye!
Grandfather: When I awaken, I shall reintroduce the world to the sound that will bring it to its knees - HYPNO JAZZ!
Pinkerton: What?! Your 'smooth jazz' is hardly appropriate music for modern supervillains! Computer! Cease transmission immediately. I have more important things to concern myself with! The intensity of my sound will soon dominate you all. My power will spread throughout the world like... THE BLACK PLAGUE!
Rachnid: Dr. Pinkerton, are you sure you know what you're doing? Your grandfather was supposedly the most powerful evil genius of his generation!
Pinkerton: Perhaps, but HIS time was a century ago! Modern ears crave HEAVIER sounds... and there's NOTHING heavier than HEAVY METAL. Except perhaps for the legendary MALLET Of METAL!
Computer: Dr. Pinkerton?
Pinkerton: How dare you interrupt me, computer!
Computer: Sorry Dr. Pinkerton, but you have another transmission coming in from Antarctica.
The transmission comes onscreen - it's Milo I's face.
Grandfather: Pardon me again sonny, we seem to have been cut off... but who am I kidding? You're not doing anything important!
Pinkerton: Nothing important? I'm only trying to musically conquer the world here!
Grandfather: Heheheheheh - I've been watching your lack of progress over the last decade young man, and if I were you I'd be looking for a more suitable career... possibly in the custodial arts or food service industry.
Pinkerton: I'll have you know that I was BORN to take over the family goal of world conquest! And once I succeed, I'm going to come down there and seize the legacy that was rightfully mine to begin with.
Grandfather: YOU can't control my superior steam-powered technology - only I can! And in case you've forgotten, young whippersnapper, I'm also still the one who controls the family business AND the Antarctic base. You can't handle the rigors of world domination OR Antarctic living.
Pinkerton: Are you kidding? I was BORN in the south!
Pinkerton: Dr. Z! Scan the audience and tell me if the hypno signal is taking hold.
Dr. Z: I'm getting no reading at this range, Dr. Pinkerton
Pinkerton: Then grab one of them and we'll do a cellular level brain scan!
Pinkerton: Why, this brain is barely affected at all! We will have to resort to less subtle means if we want to raise an army. Dr. Rachnid! You know what you have to do!
Rachnid: Why yes, Dr. Pinkerton! I've been waiting for this opportunity all night. Alright ladies and gentlemen, look into my eyes, you will soon fall under the influence of my mystical spider dance, The Creep!
Dr. Z: I am not seeing any mesmerizing at all.
Pinkerton: You idiot, I didn't ask for you to teach these people your insipid new dance steps! Forget it. Dr. Z, help me out here.
Dr. Z: Oh yes Dr. Pinkerton, I will soon deliver an army of beautiful Amazon warriors. Ladies, Open your minds and give yourselves to my funky freshness!
Rachnid: Ho yeah that worked great, just look at all the deadly femme fatales.
Pinkerton: You idiots have subverted my plans long enough! Lab Girl (or Formelda), fetch hither my ultimate weapon, the Hypnotronic Helmet!
Somebody hands Pinkerton the helmet
Pinkerton: And now people, stand by and ready your minds for the psychic blast you will shortly experiencem! Resistance is futile, but it will hurt a lot less if you think evil thoughts.
Rachnid: Why evil thoughts?
Pinkerton: Because Evil is Fun!
EVIL IS FUN
Pinkerton: Excellent! Now that you are under my complete control, we will see whose music reigns supreme.
Z: Um, Dr. Pinkerton I'm not so sure they're hypnotized.
Computer: Uhhh, Dr. Pinkerton, I really hate to interrupt again but...
Pinkerton: Oh go ahead and do it, I'm ready for him now! Well, grandfather, what do you want, as if I didn't know?
Grandfather: Why my dearest nephew, my only desire is for you to uphold the Pinkerton family traditions! And you're going to do it too, even if it means using my own steam-fueled hypno powers over your own colleagues. Behold as I take control of their puny minds!
Pinkerton: You doddering old fool, you can't possibly hypnotize my people from thousands of miles away. Isn't that right, colleagues?
All: (flatly) Yes, Grandpappy Pinkerton.
Pinkerton: I really need better minions.
Grandfather: Hahaha, my hypno powers are stronger than you think, young Milo! And now, you idiots - play something respectable!
Pinkerton: Two can play at this game! (brandishes helmet) I'll counter your steam-punk with some REAL punk!
During song, the lead vocal goes back and forth between Lab Girl (or Formelda) and Pinkerton, as Grandfather Pinkerton fights with Milo over control of the music. The style of the song flips between 20's style and punk style as they exchange influence over the band. Finally the song ends with both of them singing at the same time.
At the end, Grandfather is winded but still defiant
Grandfather: Well played, young Milo, but if nothing else I've got seniority here. And I say your music is a disgrace to the Pinkerton family name. It's time you started doing things MY way.
Pinkerton: Well, why don't you come down here and MAKE me do things your way?
Grandfather: Ummm, well, that might be rather tall order; you see, my Zeppelin has a flat, and I don't have anything suitable to wear... etc.
Pinkerton: Wait a minute... computer! Zoom out!
The screen zooms out revealing that Grandfather is a head atop a skeletal body.
Pinkerton: Aha! No wonder you're still holed up in the Antarctic base! You're just a skeleton of your former self!
Grandfather: Not for long, young Milo... you'll see... as soon as my new body is finally finished incubating, you and everybody else will be taught firsthand to grovel before the majesty of my mental might, and respectable jazz music, for that is the source of all true musical energy!
Pinkerton: Ha! I don't care about family tradition - rock and roll is what I believe in! I'll never bow to you or anyone else for that matter! Computer - you've had enough time now. Are you locked in on Grandfather's transmission frequency?
computer: Yes, Dr. Pinkerton
Pinkerton: Then take the following soundwave and amplify it back at him!
BOW 2 ME
Pinkerton: Computer? Let's see how Grandfather's doing right about now...?
Grandfather: DAMN YOU KIDS WITH YOUR LOUD MUSIC!!! AAAARRRRGGGHHHH
Onscreen, Grandfather's head bursts into flame. Flames engulf the image and it fades out.
Rachnid: How did you do it, Dr. Pinkerton?
Pinkerton: Elementary, Dr. Rachnid; I simply hacked into the only technology on his base that wasn't steam-powered- the PC he was Skyping in on! And now - People - you are all now in my absolute control! Go, warn your friends and family, for they will be next! Buy our new CD, Music For Supervillains, and listen to it well, for my takeover of the world is at hand! The COG have spoken! COG!
Pinkerton: Only one thing left to do now.
Z: Cash in his life insurance?
Pinkerton: NO! What do you think, drumbot?
Pinkerton: Well that takes care of that! The COG is victorious once agai...
Grandfather: That's what YOU think, Milo! Whether you like it or not, I shall return.
Pinkerton: Oh shut up and die already! We are the Consortium of Genius, from New Orleans Louisiana. GOOD NIGHT!
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